Hello everyone, it's been....hmmm what is the correct word....can't think of just one, so here are many. The past few months have brought wonderful, sad, thought provoking, change evoking, crying, laughing, (what is with all the ings???) times into my neck of the experience. Two men (one I knew of through others, one was in my life for a short time as a co worker) who when they walked into a room the atmosphere changed (in a good way) lost battles with cancer. I really wish we'd find a cure for this plague; it takes too many too soon from the ones that love them. I have a very dear friend, we've know each other since sophomore year in high school, were each other's maid of honor (she is still married to the wonderful man I stood up with her for) who has now been fighting that cancer bastard (yes that's what it is and dirty rotten bastard) for a few years. It started in her breast; they took both of those, then last March it was back with a vengeance. This woman is so strong, fighting so hard, and staying so stead fast in her faith it is inspiring. She called me the other day; we talked about a trip they recently took with her husband’s family, the house they are trying to buy (I'm under contract to help her move if escrow ever closes) and all of other things going on with either of us. Then just before we were going to hang up she shared with me how frighten she is, they have been doing chemo on her since March 2011(this time), she got a chemation (vacation from chemo) over the holidays and had a visit to the City of Hope, well the news wasn't Hopeful. They aren't giving up, but her life is only going to be filled with more chemo and feeling like crap most of the time. I want so very badly to make her better, have some kind of words or wisdom that would make it all better and go away for good, but both wisdom and words fail me right now. I selfishly just want to sit down and cry for an hour or two. But that doesn't make her better. She is so frighten right now and trying to hide if from her family, she does share the fear with me, which makes me very privledged I know, what I do is tell her it's okay to be scared. Give yourself permission to be frighten, face the fear then find a way through it, what is our next step in this battle, what do you need or want me to do? We live 4 hours apart so just shooting over to her place to hold her is out of the question. And she's a planner, so wants to plan when I'm coming, and wants me to stay over, so I'm not doing all the driving in one day. I keep telling her she's worth every step of each mile that I cruse.
All I can offer her is some humor, love and friendship, which doesn't seem enough, but will have to do for now.
Well, sorry the second one of these wasn't wonderful, but don't worry there will be more and they may even make you laugh.